Break the (Writing) Rules

Writing is an individual sport. And all sports have rules. The rules apply to everyone, and following them is a prerequisite for participation.

Okay, writing isn’t really a sport, but sometimes it feels like one with all the so-called "rules" we're expected to follow if we want to be successful. Except that if you are a neurodivergent (ND) writer like me, the rules not only don’t always work but they make the process more painful.

I’d like to share with you a bunch of writing rules that I’ve given myself permission to break as well as a few I tend to follow religiously.

Nine Writing Rules I Ignore

1. Write every day. 

This is not only the number one rule on nearly every writing blog ever written, but it’s the most dangerous advice for NDs. This rule wants to shame me into thinking I’m not a writer. But I am. Of course, writing every day is great advice and very productive. But ND writers don’t work this way. We can’t force ourselves to “just write” (whether it’s executive dysfunction or the fact that we are hyperfixated on something other than writing). It’s not a choice for us. And we don’t need any more guilt. Write when you can. Enough said.

2. Don’t edit your work as you go.

Okay, there’s some wisdom here. We all know the kind of rabbit holes we can fall into once we start editing (i.e. hyperfixating on word choice or a mood we are trying to achieve). We can spend hours on a single sentence. But my happy place is editing, and if I feel like editing a scene when I’m not even done writing it yet, so be it. 

3. Respect your writing process. 

Conventional advice claims that every writer has a writing process that works for him/her, and one should honor it. But sometimes I need my favorite playlist to put any words down, but the next time I require complete silence to write. My “process” is constantly changing, so choose to respect whatever works at that moment.

4. Finish one project before beginning another.

This is a hard one for me. On the one hand, I crave the feeling of completing something, of checking that box, and then moving on to the next thing. But more than that, I am absolutely terrified about the prospect of a blank page, the idea of starting over. I’d rather have a few irons in the fire at a time.

5. Write in chronological order.

Now, I kinda subscribe to this one, but only because it works for me. I prefer to write in time order because it helps me keep my MC’s perspective/mood/voice consistent. But not everyone does this. Many ND writers feel compelled to write the scene they are feeling at that moment, no matter where it fits into the story.

6. Designate a place for writing.

This sounds good in theory. I have a desk with a comfortable chair, good lighting, and plentiful snacks. But if I am ten minutes early for a dentist appointment or waiting for dinner to cook in the oven, I’ll grab my phone or laptop wherever I am. 

7. Take breaks only after reaching a writing goal.

Now this one is laughable. And it’s not me laughing. It’s my neurodivergence. As if I have control over when I’m taking a break or not! Sure, it would be great to reach a goal I’ve set out for myself. But if my brain wants a break, there’s not a damn thing I can do to make it keep going. 

8. Be consistent.

Okay, my OCD loves this. Consistency. Routine. Expectations that are met. But my ADHD is a loud drunk uncle who gets all the attention, so consistency is derailed by all the distractions. The rule sounds good in theory, but, well… life.  

9. Be active on social media.

This rule, dear friends, is a double-edged sword. Building your presence on social media is a strong marketing approach. Having a presence. Establishing your brand. Connecting with your readers. Selling your books. How could this not be a good idea? Some ND writers are very good at this. I applaud them. ND writers like me, however, stress over every detail (Is my image what I want to project? Am I reaching enough of my audience? Am I posting too much content or not enough?) and sometimes spend more time on social media than I do on writing. Social media should support your writing. It shouldn’t take the place of writing.

Four Writing Rules I Follow

Then there are rules that actually make sense to me.

1. Create a bookshelf for inspiration.

I keep a handful of novels by some of my favorite authors close by to inspire me as a writer, particularly when it comes to style and voice. If I’m stuck on phrasing or need an idea on how to handle dialogue, reading through a few pages can motivate me.

2. Learn to say no.

Turning down invitations or people has always been difficult for me. I don’t like saying no. But it’s important to prioritize my needs—whether it’s writing or taking some time for myself—so it’s okay to say no (and I don’t have to give a reason!).  

3. Write first for yourself, then worry about the audience.

This rule really resonates! For me, writing is so personal. My words are little pieces of my soul poured onto the page. I have no idea how to write if it’s not for myself, so I love having permission to follow that instinct. I can worry about who’s reading it later. Then again, I’m in a fortunate position where I’m not looking to make a living at writing. I just love doing it. 

4. If you’re stuck, move your body.

Whenever I find myself staring at the page, my mind either wandering or stuck on one word/sentence/paragraph, I stand up and take a few laps around the room. Movement is magic!

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Rules are tools meant to guide us. But some are there to be broken. As a writer, rules can help us grow, or they may restrict us. It’s up to us to decide which ones work for us.

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About the author: Karen is a writer, teacher, audiobook lover, and Wordle enthusiast from New Jersey. She has ADHD and OCD, so ignoring rules is her superpower. Her favorite activities are spoiling her granddaughters, traveling to warm climates, snort-laughing with friends, and sipping a good Cosmopolitan. Visit her online at www.karenkinley.com.