My Love/Hate Relationship With Editing

It’s been said that love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Both are intense emotions. Both are characterized by passion. They even activate similar areas of the brain. 

But they don’t mean the same thing, of course. “Love” reflects feelings of deep affection or pleasure in doing something, while “hate” suggests an equal level of animosity.

So this begs the question: Is it possible to experience these seemingly conflicting feelings at the same time?

If you’re neurodivergent (ND) like me, I’m here to tell you that—unequivocally—the answer is YES!

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I Love To Edit!

I do. It is my happy place, my safe place. 

Give me a draft that needs work and I will giddily deliver a document with copious revisions, punctuation recommendations, and spelling corrections. I possess an embarrassing number of red pens. I know how to use the various editing tools in Microsoft Word and Google Docs. There is enormous satisfaction in making a piece of writing better than what it was. 

The irony is that my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is actually helpful due to the meticulous nature of the editing process. The hyperfocus of OCD results in extraordinary attention to detail, helping me notice things others might miss: grammatical errors, minor inconsistencies, etc. I am able to shut out the rest of the world for hours at a time. Some really good work gets done in the pursuit of “perfection”!

Additionally, the process itself can actually be soothing to my OCD. The literal and figurative act of “dotting those i’s and crossing those t’s” satisfies the order and structure that OCD demands. Everything in its place.

So it’s safe to say that I love editing. I always have. I proofread homework for all my friends. I’m pretty sure my college boyfriend (who was subsequently promoted to husband) wouldn’t have graduated if I weren’t there to “fix” his research papers! 

But then again…. 

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I Hate To Edit!

Or more specifically, I hate editing my own writing. And I’m not exactly sure why.

Maybe I’m too close to the work. Maybe I don’t approach my own writing the same way I do with other people’s writing. Maybe I’m an imposter, and I don’t really know what I’m doing.

Even sitting here, right this very minute, editing this blog post has my mind all tied up in knots. Because sometimes the enormity of editing—whether it’s a short blog post or a novel—overwhelms me to the point that I’m paralyzed.

My neurodivergence doesn’t help either. 

My OCD wants to see the big picture every single time I open my laptop to edit. I need to understand how every revision impacts the next sentence, the next paragraph, the next chapter. At the same time, I’m nitpicking every word choice looking for the “perfect” sentence.

Meanwhile, my ADHD has me mentally rearranging ideas as I edit, considering numerous scenarios, forcing me to exhaust every possibility before I can move on. And don’t get me started on the distractions that my laptop and phone provide!

Editing is an all-consuming, daunting exercise that seems too massive to tackle. So I pull out some of my ND tricks: make checklists, break tasks into small chunks, share my goals with someone to keep me accountable, organize my workspace, etc. 

But it doesn’t always work.

Case in point: I began writing my first novel in 2018. I finished the first draft in 2019. I have been editing the damn thing ever since (Yes, I know it’s 2026).

ND editor's note: I feel this in my soul. Hello, novel I started in 2008.

Now, it’s not like I haven’t been busy for the last seven years. I work full time and have all the usual responsibilities of living. And I haven’t always been good about making time for my writing. But when I do, I try to ride the hyperfocus wave as long as it hangs around. And I’m productive.

Then life gets hectic again as it always does and I have to clean up whatever space needs cleaning, so I put my files and notes away. The problem is that I will then forget about it for a while. I need to see things to do them. "Out of sight, out of mind" is one of the well-known various symptoms of ADHD. When I finally get back to it, it takes me so long to backtrack and figure out where I left off and what I was doing that I decide it’s not worth it. After all, if I only have an hour to edit, and it will take me 45 minutes just to catch up, why bother?

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So there you have it: I love/hate editing. 

The activity that gives me such joy and a feeling of accomplishment also deflates me and makes me feel worthless. I don’t have any magic words of wisdom to solve this conundrum. 

But I have made my peace with it. Because sometimes it’s that very relationship—as complicated as it is—that challenges us and makes us better. 

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About the author: Karen is a writer, teacher, audiobook lover, and Wordle enthusiast from New Jersey. Despite her ADHD and OCD, she would really like to finish editing her first novel… and then start the torture all over again with a new one. Her favorite activities are spoiling her granddaughter, traveling to warm climates, snort-laughing with friends, and sipping a good Cosmopolitan. Visit her online at www.karenkinley.com.