We Are All a Work in Progress

This past weekend, I attended my high school reunion.

Nearly 60 of us gathered in a hotel ballroom accented with green LED lights (school colors were green and white!), our class year prominently displayed with 34” silver balloons, the decade’s music piped through a speaker. We hugged. We laughed. We reminisced. We took selfies. We kept the bar busy. Some of us even danced!

I won’t tell you how long it’s been since we’ve walked the halls of our high school building, unapologetically youthful and hopeful. Suffice it to say that it’s been quite a few years, and I’ve seen many iterations of my classmates during that time. 

At our 5th reunion, we were still young and fresh-faced, many of us just getting started marking our mark on the world after college. At our 10th, the subtle bragging began. Some brought and paraded their spouses like trophies. Others flaunted well-paying jobs or photos of their adorable newborns. The showing-off intensified at the 15th, leveled off at the 20th, and from there our get-togethers settled into a celebration of our shared memories and experiences where we were more grateful than jealous.

Watching this shift take place over the years makes me think about the fact that every individual—no matter who we are or what we do—is continually changing and evolving. 

“Tell me about your WIP”

In a world full of acronyms, this one has always been a favorite. People get asked this question on social media or writing forums. It is an opportunity for writers to share details about what they are currently writing and/or editing. 

WIP = Work in Progress

As a writer, it has such a positive ring to it. So much hope. “Work” implies something valuable, productive, worthy. “In Progress” suggests action, particularly of things moving in a forward direction.

But “In Progress” also means that whatever it is, it isn’t finished. There is still work to be done.

Each of us is a work in progress. We are imperfect, not-fully-realized human beings, yet we all have the potential for improvement and, hopefully, are striving to do better. To be better. 

As a neurodivergent (ND) writer, this certainly rings true. We often only see our flaws, our weaknesses. We compare ourselves to other writers and are convinced that we fall short. We don’t measure up. We are imposters.

Instead, we should focus on the potential of a “work in progress” and see that, despite our disabilities, we are better than we were before but not as good as we can be. 

Looking Back to Look Ahead

Sometimes it’s worthwhile to reflect on where you’ve been to appreciate where you are. 

This is especially true for NDs. Every day, we battle to survive in a neurotypical world. And whether we are just figuring things out or have a toolbox full of tricks and strategies to get us through the day… we are learning and growing each day, and that is something to celebrate.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have OCD and ADHD. Staying focused, keeping things organized, and controlling my OCD rituals overtake so much of my mental capacity that it’s difficult to get through some days. But like many neurodivergent people out there, I’ve developed and honed ways to deal with my disabilities, often without even realizing that’s what I was doing.

For example, the very process of writing this blog post forces me to draw on strategies to battle my executive dysfunction and compulsions while I try to work. Task initiation, organizing and prioritizing notes, managing my time, keeping my stress level normal—I have figured out ways to push through these challenges and get the job done.

Looking back, I see now that I’ve done that exact thing in many other scenarios, whether I was just trying to get through school, excel at my job, manage a household, raise my children, or simply live my life. Over time, I created systems and routines that helped me, changed me, made me better.

And you know what? I am still working on those things. There is so much to learn and discover, one day at a time. I can’t wait to look back and see what else I’ve figured out.

See? Work in progress.

Slow Progress is Still Progress

One of the things that bothers me—both as a neurodivergent writer and a regular human being on this planet—is how slowly it takes for these changes to occur in our lives.

We want things and we want them now. Instant gratification. We want to be richer, smarter, more successful, healthier, etc. And while we are often willing to put in the work, we also want to see the results more quickly than they actually happen. I don’t think I’m alone in this thinking. 

But one benefit of getting older (remember that reunion I mentioned at the beginning?) is the wisdom that comes with it. 

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Everything takes time. From food shopping to driving your kids all over to changing your habits. Give things the time they deserve (or need). And don’t expect instant results.

Nothing lasts. Not the good stuff, not the bad stuff. Enjoy what makes you happy, and don’t fret over the crappy things. And dear Lord, cut out the things in your life that don’t bring you joy. That includes toxic people, too.

Don’t apologize for who you are. None of us is perfect. Just be the best YOU that you can be. That’s all anyone can ask.

In this life, no matter how old we are or what challenges we might face, we are all a work in progress.

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About the Author:

Karen is a writer, teacher, audiobook lover, and Wordle enthusiast from New Jersey. She has ADHD and OCD, yet managed to survive her high school reunion unscathed. Her favorite activities are spoiling her granddaughter, traveling to warm climates, snort-laughing with friends, and sipping a good Cosmopolitan. Visit her online at www.karenkinley.com.