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Craft & Chaos Interview: Desirae Gracyn

Microphone with rays on pink background, "Craft & Chaos Interview" and "Desirae Gracyn" text in artistic fonts.

Every writer brings a unique lens to the page, shaped by their experiences, imagination, and way of moving through the world. For neurodivergent writers, that lens can reflect perspectives that challenge traditional ideas of what writing should look like. 


In this Q&A, Desirae Gracyn opens up about how being neurodivergent impacts her writing process, inspires her creativity, and influences the challenges and rewards of being a writer.


Q: Can you introduce yourself and share a little about the kind of writing you do?


Woman in black dress and red heels sits on library steps, surrounded by books. She smiles confidently, with a tattoo on her arm.

A: My name is Desirae Gracyn, pseudonyms Caroline Crews and Beatrice Crews. I wear many different hats. I’m a nurse, a volunteer, a reader, a writer, neurodivergent, and predominantly an extrovert. Most of my writing is fantasy. I read it and write it because I love to escape—the colors, the immersion, the creativity, and really everything about it. Although I go to fantasy for escape, I still want to see representation of me and others like me on the pages. So, I decided to write those characters in my work. Most of my work now includes characters who are neurodivergent or have a mental health condition. I also love writing about therapy or therapeutic techniques. Sometimes, due to the anthology’s guidelines that I’ll write for, I expand my scope and write sci-fi, horror, contemporary, and others. But fantasy and paranormal are my loves.


Q: What does your writing routine look like? Does your neurodivergence impact it in any way? 


A: Yeah… my neurodivergence definitely influences my writing routine.


With my OCD, I have to be on a perfect schedule, in a perfect chair, with the perfect setup when doing edits or rereading my work. However, I’m more lenient when I’m drafting the story.


With my autism, I must have a blanket and jacket even if it’s hot. When my writing stresses me out, I have to squeeze on the sleeves, bunch the blanket in my fists, or move my hand through the fabric. If I don’t have these comforts and textures around me, I’ll go into a panic attack.


If my routine gets messed with, it can bring me way down. When that happens, I have to make up for it; if I can’t, I don’t let myself enjoy books, shows, or hanging out with friends. If I succeed all week, I celebrate with food, friends, and movies.


Q: Are there certain tools, spaces, or habits that make writing easier for you?


A: Having my monitor to the left helps when I’m editing or rereading. I can make notes way more easily. Having the iPad to my right also helps. I HAVE TO keep my time monitored. It’s very important to have every second accounted for. Also, I can’t handle quiet so I must have music or some type of white noise. 


I can write anywhere. I’ve written one of my stories on a plane. I wrote another one at a hostel I was staying at for a few months in the UK. I’ve written a story at a coffeehouse. I’ve even written one of my stories on a bus. However, when I’m editing, I prefer the most undistracted place. My favorite place is my desk.


Above all, the most important thing is that I must have headphones in. I want to feel enclosed in my space, like I am in my own little world.


Q: In what ways do you think your neurodivergence enhances your creativity or perspective as a writer? 


A: Being neurodivergent is one of the best things about my life. A long time ago, I wanted to get rid of it and took lots of medication, but I lost myself and my creative juices, which is how I know my neurodivergence is what gives me my creativity. I think it makes me bubbly, outgoing, wild, and just fun. It helps me with my fantasy side. But because I don’t take medications, I go to a lot of therapy.


OCD and autism also improve my writing style and perspective because, if someone tells me something, I take it to heart and then research the heck out of it. For example, if someone tells me a new rule I should do or not do in my writing, I will learn everything I can about it. This helps me grow tremendously as a writer. 


A book cover with a clock and dagger on a purple floral background. Text reads "A Bond of Blood and Lavender" by Caroline Crews. Moody and mysterious.

Q: Has writing ever helped you process or better understand your own neurodivergence?


A: Actually, yes! Writing neurodivergent characters has helped me see myself in a new light. It’s helped me understand things better and understand those around me better. This then improved my relationship with my friends and family. It has also helped me master several therapeutic techniques.


My second novel, hopefully coming out later this year, features a neurodivergent main character. I wanted to see someone in fantasy who was OCD, autistic, ADHD, with anxiety and depression. So I wrote her! I also wanted to have this character go through therapeutic techniques and realize by the end of the book that her neurodivergence could be seen as a positive. 


Q: What challenges do you face as a neurodivergent writer in creative or professional spaces?


A: With my neurodivergent diagnoses, especially autism, communication happens to be an issue with me. For example, I don’t get when things might not be appropriate to say or when people are done with a conversation. I don’t get social cues at all. Also, my tone of voice doesn’t always match what I’m feeling, and people can perceive me as coming off too strongly or harsh when I don’t mean to. I also take everything too literally. 


My brain needs constant reassurance and clarity. If a mentor or beta reader gives me feedback, I ask them loads of questions. After I fix what they suggest, I send a new load of questions. I tend to ask the same question in different ways. I’m not sure why I do this, and I feel really bad and annoying for doing so, yet I have difficulty not doing it.


Also, I don’t know how to balance my writing life with my social life. With me, I have to finish what’s on my plate before I can have fun—and my plate never seems to clear. I’m an extrovert and want to socialize, but not only do I have the plate problem, the closer I get to a deadline, the stricter I become. I’ll stay up 12+ hours working on the story every night, so that by the time I finish working on a project, my brain is fried. I have no energy for social events or talking with anyone. Plus, I think if I have time for socializing, then I have time to work.


Another challenge is that nothing is ever good enough when it comes to my own stories. I feel like it’s never done, that it can always be better.


Q: But doesn’t every writer feel this way? Or do you feel it’s worse because you are neurodivergent? 


A: This, I know, is a common thought among artists. Do I feel like I have it worse because I’m neurodivergent? I’m not sure. I don’t know what it’s like without neurodivergence. I also don't know what it’s like in someone else’s head. So it’s hard to say whether it’s worse or not. 


With OCD, reordering and repetition are common traits. With autism, anxiety, excessive worry, and lack of fear (or excessive fear) are some common characteristics. With ADHD, focus is an issue.


I mention these things because they are what I suffer from, especially when I finish a project. So if I have a 300+ page document and I see an apostrophe in the wrong place on page 230, I worry that I could’ve missed something else and have to reread all over again.


Or, while I’m doing my final read, I get distracted and my mind wanders… I begin to think that my book isn’t good enough to hold my attention, and I have to change it somehow.


Q: What advice would you give to other neurodivergent writers who might be struggling with self-doubt or external expectations? 


Woman in red shirt excitedly poses at a book signing table with books and stickers.

A: I’m not the best with advice. But three things have helped me when I was struggling with self-doubt: not giving up, building a community, and writing for anthologies or magazines.


Fight! Don’t give up. No one wins if you do that. Maybe the fight is with your brain, maybe the fight is with time, or outward struggles. But all that matters is that you fight. Write yourself a little sticky note and put it somewhere you see every day. Keep a journal that lists all the reasons you love to write. Anytime you want to give up, read that.


Build a community of other writers. They give you accountability. They help you balance your load. They might even make you jealous which can either bring you down or light a fire inside of you because you want to be as good as they are. But most importantly, other writers will encourage you and give such positive feedback. 


Write for anthologies. I think this saved my career. Earlier this year, I threw in the towel. I told my writing coach I wasn’t going to write anything else. Well, she convinced me to keep writing for the monthly Dragon Soul Press anthologies. Since then, I’ve had 12 stories accepted in Dragon Soul and other presses, and it ignited my soul. 


Q: What question did I not ask that you wish I had?


A: If you could not be neurodivergent, would you? And the answer is no. I like who I am. Yes, sometimes being neurodivergent, anxious, or depressed sucks. Yes, the OCD can get a bit much. However, I love that my mom can trust me to sometimes review her work, because she knows my eye for detail. I’m happy that I care so much about cleanliness and rules that it makes me a great nurse, and I know my patients are always safe with me. I’m thrilled that my brain is different, because I love being different. I love that my autism helps me be fearless in lots of ways. I’m thrilled that my brain gives me a creative side. I wouldn’t change it.


Q: Finally, where can people find you?




If you are a neurodivergent writer, we are interested in interviewing you! Contact Theresa.Green [at] writersworkout.net for more information. Want to read more about the unique challenges facing neurodivergent writers? Check out our Craft & Chaos page.


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