Find Your Peeps

Writing tends to be a solitary craft that originates in the writer’s mind, manifested through words on paper or a computer screen. Writers generally create alone. And the process can be downright lonely.

But while writing is not a "team sport," all writers need people. I’m not talking just an audience—unless, of course, you’re writing in a personal journal meant only for your own eyes—but a community. After all, the simple fact that you are reading this blog post on The Writer's Workout indicates a desire to connect with other people.

For neurodivergent (ND) writers, finding people to lean on can make a huge difference in our success. However, we don’t always fit in with typical writing groups. We need others who “get it” and can offer support and advice for our specific roadblocks that go beyond traditional writing challenges.

Writing is Hard—Support Matters

Writing communities can provide support in many ways, big and small:

Encouragement and validation: A sense of belonging and shared experiences go a long way in increasing motivation and preventing burnout. Writer groups always have positive energy!

Feedback: Other writers can offer constructive criticism of a piece of writing, act as beta readers, or give valuable advice based on their own experiences.

Inspiration: Nothing compares to a group of writers when it comes to brainstorming and getting different perspectives!

Networking: Writing communities can provide connections to ideas or people who can help advance careers.

Accountability: Some groups provide contests, write-ins, sprints, and even progress tracking to help writers achieve goals and stay focused.

Not All Support Is Created Equal

Of course, neurodivergent writers realize that certain traits we possess might make this support, well… complicated. On the one hand, we may struggle with social norms or sensory issues that would make participation in a group setting difficult. Yet, we may also have certain traits—such as rejection sensitive dysphoria, executive dysfunction, or obsessive thinking—which would make encouragement and validation from other writers that much more critical. 

But mainstream writing groups can present some challenges for ND writers who are seeking that support.

There might be unclear social rules that make us feel out of sync with the group. We may be overwhelmed by lots of feedback, conflicting opinions, or both. We might feel pressure about the perceived “right” way to perform certain tasks. (If I read one more blog post that preaches I should “write every day,” I just may scream.) We could possibly misread someone’s tone in person or online.

It’s essential for ND writers to find support that meets their particular needs, whether it’s with a traditional writing community or one tailored to neurodivergent writers. Specifically, we should look for a safe, judgment-free zone with people who honor our process, whatever that may be. 

About eight years ago, I joined an in-person writer’s group (not ND-specific) that holds meetings once a month at a local library. Participants are invited to take turns reading a few pages of their work aloud, after which the others will offer verbal feedback. Commentary is always positive and geared toward improving the writing or helping make it more marketable. I have made many friends via this group and don’t know where I would be without their suggestions and encouragement!

That being said, I have struggled with certain aspects of the group because of my neurodivergence. When others are reading, I have trouble focusing since I’m only hearing and not seeing the words. My mind drifts, I cannot follow the plot line (especially when it’s not of my preferred genres), and I’m not always confident that my opinion will be helpful. Also, on numerous occasions, I have skipped meetings simply because of the self-imposed pressure of finding the “perfect” selection to read. The stress was too much, so I just didn’t go.

Where Do You Find Your Peeps?

When you are ready to find a writing community, where do you go? Well, this depends on what you are looking for. Do you want an online community or something in person? Are you looking for passive support (reading posts, access to resources) or active involvement (participating in discussions, sharing your work, doing sprints, etc.)? Do you just want a safe space to be you? Or maybe you need beta readers?

Here are a few suggestions:

Online spaces: Explore ND writing Discords, forums, neurodivergent Twitter/X threads, Reddit communities, TikTok, Facebook groups (search using #NeurodivergentWriter, #ADHDWriters, #OCDCreatives, etc.).

Workshops & retreats: Look for programs centered around inclusivity, accessibility, and diverse creative processes (the Neurodivergent Publishing Conference offers free videos on YouTube).

Local groups: Google “writer’s groups near me” or check out calendars from local libraries.

Blogs, zines, and podcasts: Find creators who speak your language—literally and emotionally.

It was only recently that I sought out a community of other ND writers. I now belong to a Facebook group called “Neurovergent Writers’ Lounge” (it’s private, so you have to ask to join). I don’t interact with it much right now—only occasionally responding to someone else’s post—but it helps me to read about what other ND writers are going through. People in this group are very open about their struggles, but I think my favorite part is when they share their successes! 

Probably my best writing “community” is my friend, Karina. She and I were neighbors for 15 years before I moved a few towns over. It wasn’t until then that we discovered we each were writing our first novel! Since then, we have attended conferences together, gone on writing retreats, and met regularly over wine to discuss our work. I don’t think I’d still be writing today if it weren’t for her unconditional support of our shared passion.

To hear a different perspective, check out Lindzey Jacoby’s post, Navigating Writing Communities.

Go Find ’Em!

It doesn’t matter how big or small your writing community is. It only matters that you have a safe space to be yourself and ask for help. The most important thing is to be honest about what you need, and then go find it.

If you’re nervous, that’s okay. Join an online group and find small ways to participate: comment on a post, share a win, send a meme.

Here’s one for inspiration:

However, know that not every community will be a good fit. It’s fine to break up with them. I once belonged to a regional in-person writing group. Truth be told, the location of the meetings wasn’t convenient. But when COVID hit, it went virtual so it was easier to attend. But a few months in, I felt very little connection to the people involved. I’m sure they were all lovely people, but I quit. It wasn’t for me.

And if you can’t find your people? Keep searching. Or create your own community. It’s worth it.

By the way, if you've found your peeps already, I’d love to hear all about it!

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About the Author:

Karen is a writer, teacher, audiobook lover, and Wordle enthusiast from New Jersey. She has ADHD and OCD and is always on the lookout for more writer friends. Her favorite activities are spoiling her granddaughter, traveling to warm climates, snort-laughing with friends, and sipping a good cosmopolitan. Visit her online at www.karenkinley.com.