Querying Limbo

Picture this: you’re in the querying trenches. You have been stressing over your query letter and sample pages, revising and tweaking until you achieve the desired tone, word count, and hook in the hopes of landing an agent. Then you finally hit “send.” You spend the next few hours, days, weeks obsessively checking your email and overanalyzing the lack of response as both a positive and a negative. The whole process is grueling.

A Different Struggle

Even so, querying hits differently when you’re neurodivergent. 

Submission requirements, with the different rules for each agent, can be an organizational hell. One wants the first three chapters and a two-paragraph summary. Another wants 20 pages and a synopsis. And yet another wants a one-sentence pitch and 10 pages. But the fact that there are clear rules can be grounding. The expectations are spelled out in black and white. There is no room for interpretation.

When it comes to submission packages, neurodivergents (NDs) can get caught in the “forever tweaking” mode. That query letter can go through endless revisions, the pitch is ever-changing, and the manuscript gets many rewrites. The work of an ND writer is never finished. 

Then there’s the fact that an agent might reject our work. When someone says “no,” we hear “you aren’t good enough.” Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is a thing. Many neurodivergents cannot stomach the idea of querying because the possibility of rejection is so debilitating. And the actual waiting for a response? Don’t get me started on that.

A Multifaceted Experience

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

This famous Dickens quote perfectly encapsulates the emotional rollercoaster of querying.

There are heavenly moments for sure. 

If you get a partial or full request from an agent, you will experience a euphoria akin to that of a magical Christmas morning when you were seven years old. The first time it happened to me—as a married adult with two college-age kids and a grown-up job—I was floating on air! It was a pure joy I hadn’t felt in decades. 

Sometimes, though, querying can feel like hell.

It is not for the thin-skinned. You need to be prepared for constant rejection. Most agents sign only a handful of authors in any given year, so the odds of getting a positive query response aren’t good. 

Editor's note: my first rejection arrived within ten minutes. Did they even read it?! We obviously weren't compatible.

Most of the time, rejection comes by way of a form letter: short, impersonal, nonconstructive. 

Or you may get a personalized rejection, which—while perhaps offering helpful insight—forces you to face what is wrong with your submission package rather than just letting you hate on the agent!

Then there is…

Limbo.

This is where many of us frequently find ourselves. 

Limbo, because agents are swamped and queries are often left unanswered. I’d rather have a definitive “no” than to mark my query as “Closed—No Response” in QueryTracker. Just as my OCD will not allow me to place a checkmark on a “To Do” list item prematurely, a non-response to a query feels unfinished.

Limbo, because I have a finished manuscript that I’ve been editing for years, and although I have pitched a few agents via workshops and sent out a query letter from time to time, I have convinced myself that I’m not really querying because I’m still editing. But, to be candid, I’m not making editing a priority so it’s moving at a glacial pace. How can I call myself a writer if I’m not really writing? Or editing? Or querying?

Or limbo when I get a gracious personalized rejection with feedback, only to learn that this agent liked X but not Y about my first chapter, even though a few months back, a different agent said she liked Y but not X. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around that one.

Managing the Madness

The querying process contains many challenges for the neurodivergent writer. But that doesn’t mean we can’t mitigate the stress and uncertainty by doing what we do best: organizing.

Every querying writer—especially NDs—needs a spreadsheet to manage everything from agent preferences to submission requirements to feedback. Even though QueryTracker does this pretty well, not every agent uses it, and you’ll want a single place to keep track of all data. 

Editor's note: you can grab the WW Achievement Tracker here.

One thing that has helped me immensely in the querying process is creating the various versions of the submission package requirements ahead of time. I have a one-line and one-paragraph pitch ready to go. I also have different iterations of the synopsis. I’ve even organized files (correctly formatted, of course) with my first 5 pages, 10 pages, 20 pages, three chapters, etc. This way, once I’ve reviewed an agent’s submission requirements, I don’t spend lots of time revamping things. I can quickly assemble the pieces and send them off!

Another suggestion is to set limits for yourself. Once you have mentally committed to querying a particular agent, give yourself a specific timeframe (such as three days) to get that query out the door. Then stick to the deadline. 

Finally, give yourself some grace with the querying process. There are too many opportunities to second-guess yourself. Do what you can do, then let it go. You don’t need to be perfect to succeed!

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About the author: Karen is a writer, teacher, audiobook lover, and Wordle enthusiast from New Jersey. She has ADHD and OCD and has been in the querying trenches for years and may never get out. Her favorite activities are spoiling her granddaughters, traveling to warm climates, snort-laughing with friends, and sipping a good Cosmopolitan. Visit her online at www.karenkinley.com.